It was 6am and I was getting ready to serve at church. I was only a day late on my period, but I just had a weird gut feeling. Devin was asleep in my bedroom, and I was downstairs holding an unopened pregnancy test that we had bought since I was feeling “off”. My normal pre-period symptoms hadn’t hit, and there were no signs they were coming. He told me if I hadn’t gotten it by today that we could take it after church, but there I stood at 6am contemplating if I wanted to know my fate now or later.
I couldn’t wait.
I unfolded the instructions where it showed me to how to use it and where it let me know that I had to wait exactly 3 minutes before the results appeared in the test window frame.
My chest got heavy, but my mind was made up. I was going to pee on the stick, and head upstairs to wake Devin and let him know that we had 3 minutes until we knew the answer.
The house seemed even more still and silent then normal. I felt like every move I made echoed throughout. I sat on the toilet, looked ahead, took a breath, and put the test in my urine stream for what felt like an eternity.
I held the test below for a moment while reaching for the cap. I thought to myself “3 minutes. All I have to wait is 3 minutes.” And then I began to pull the test up from underneath me. As I went to put the cap on I looked at the screen and there it was. It had only been a few seconds but 2 lines were already formed.
“Pregnant”. I whispered out loud.
I sat there staring at it for what felt like another eternity. Just listening to myself breathe, and trying to figure out how I felt.
I checked through all of the emotions. Scared, baffled, excited, disbelief.
To be honest I’m not sure what I felt in that moment. I just knew this was the reality.
I sat the test on the sink counter, brushed my teeth, put in my contacts, and then walked upstairs.
“Devin.” I said hoarsely. “There’s something you need to see.”
He rolled over still half asleep. His eyes barely opened and he had major bed head. He peered at the test through one half opened eye. Then grabbed it from my hand for a closer look. He looked at me, grabbed me around the waist, and pulled me in. We didn’t speak. We just sat there holding each other.
Finally I pushed up out of bed, told him I loved him, put my church clothes on, and started the long drive from Loganville to Atlanta.